This guy right here.

Today is my darling Husbands birthday!

I love this man with all of my heart. These are just a few reasons...

He takes on the role of Going to work and school full time. He is gone all day for school then goes to work 7pm to 3:30 am.

I can't thank him enough for that huge sacrifice.

He is so sweet to me when I am feeling low about our current infertility issue.

He ALWAYS does my dishes. I probably have only done them a dozen times. He is very good about helping me out that way :)

He is always complimenting me, telling me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to have me. Who wouldn't love to hear that every day?

He loves to hold my hand and spin me around in public places to show me off.

He gets along so well with my family.

I love to watch him play with our nieces and nephews. I am always in awe thinking about him with our future children.

He always gets good grades in School. He is such a hard worker.

Anytime I do my nails or hair he will ALWAYS compliment them and tell me how good it looks... Even if he could care less haha.

He 100% supports me in my Schooling.

He watches musicals with me and enjoys them.

*Side note: I came home the other day and he was studying with Les Mis in the background... I had the biggest smile on my face ever!

He is just the best. I don't think I tell the world enough how much I love and appreciate him. So I thought I would write a blog post about him.

Even though he can be a real pain in my behind sometimes.... I wouldn't change him for the world. He is my best friend and the love of my life. And one day he will be the father of my babies.... They will be so lucky to have him as a daddy!

I LOVE YOU CURTIS MARK NESLEN.

PCOS: Show it who is boss!

I haven't posted anything in a good while! I will try to be better at blogging from now on :)

Okay… Well I am not really sure how to start this post. But I know I need to get this off my chest. It will help me be motivated to do the things I need to do. I am hoping those of you who read this can help me stay motivated as well! This is what I have been going through the past year :)

I guess I will start with where it all began... In the middle of the summer I started noticing a weight change. I was gaining weight rather quickly in places I never had weight before. I was very startled by this because I didn't change any eating habits. I thought it was maybe because I had a full time desk job that was very stressful. Towards the middle of June I started having very irregular menstrual cycles. I thought maybe I was pregnant.I took 4 pregnancy tests, all saying negative. So I thought I was just going through a rough patch having just got off birth control 2 months prior. July passed and I finally had my cycle the end of the month. I thought it would be back on track after that. August came and went, and so did September and October.

So in November I decided to go to the Dr. She had no idea what was wrong with me so she ordered blood tests. 12 viles of blood later we found out I had high testosterone levels and high insulin levels. She recommended I go see a Thyroid doctor. I was so confused! Testosterone?! I need to see a THYROID dr?? Isn't that for old people? haha... Well... A few weeks later the Thyroid Dr told me that I was suffering from PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I was baffled! I had NO clue what that was.He began to tell me that I was infertile, and I won’t be able to have children until I got this taken care of. My heart completely dropped to the floor, I swear it shatter into a million pieces! Anyone who knows me knows that I am in love with Children and I want to have my own SO badly. I went in there thinking I had one issue that needed to be fixed, instead, I walked out being told I will not be able to have kids. However he told me that there is a chance I can have my own children eventually. Once I get my weight back down and my insulin levels. Also once I start regulating my period again. He gave me a list of things I need to work on in order to be ready to have my own children. My heart was so heavy walking out of that office. I sat in my car and just cried.

Not knowing much about PCOS, I went home and researched more... Because I have very few periods, The irregularity of menses disrupts ovulation, which means conception will be difficult at best. I also have a 45% chance of a miscarriage.  This means I have a seven to ten times higher risk for Type 2 Diabetes because of my insulin levels. PCOS also causes an overproduction of testosterone.The increase of testosterone prevents the ovaries from releasing an egg and the net result is infertility. But there are many success stories with people who were diagnosed with the same issue! I have also read after you finally get pregnant and have your first born… your second comes much easier! So there is a positive J

Sounds like fun, right? Well, the Dr put me on metformin and vitamin D. He also prescribed that I quit my sit down job and be more active and stress free! It was the best job and I loved the people I worked with… but since I have quit I have lost 8 pounds and I feel so much more relaxed! I have also been able to get my monthly cycle back on track… well at least for the month of January! I never thought I would be so happy to have that back again. I came down the stairs and Curtis and I just cried and prayed with grateful and heavy hearts. Its still a long road for me.... But things are headed in the right direction!! The Doctor told me if I can get my cycle back on track and my health in better shape I will be able to have a higher chance of conception!!

I recently had a dream that gave me an overwhelming and peaceful feeling that one day I will be able to have my own children. It may be next month, it may be a year from now or it may be in 2 years! Regardless of when it is, I know my Heavenly Father will send spiritual blessings down to be with our eternal family. I can’t think of a more amazing experience than being pregnant and giving birth. People will say to me “Yeah wait for the morning sickness and see how you feel after that." My response: I am sure I will have all those experiences… but I want them so bad. I want the morning sickness, the swollen feet and all of the other crazy things pregnancy does to your body. I have always wanted that since I was little and watched my Mother go through it. This whole experience has made me realize how amazing it is to be a woman! Instead of worrying and stressing out about your period… you should rejoice that you have it! Because there are women out there who wish more than anything that they can be in your shoes. I am proud to be a woman. And one day when I have my sweet little prince or princess in my arms I can say I am proud to be a mom. The day I find out I am pregnant will be the best day of my life.

I am so grateful to have a husband that has helped me see the light through this dark time of mine. I seriously am so glad I am going through this with him. He loves me all the same even though I am broken right now. I am so grateful for my Mother who has been a strength for me as well. When I am low and I call her and she always flips it around. When I told her about the miscarriage statistic she told me to “Get healthy and kick that statistic in the butt. Show it who is boss!” I am so incredibly blessed with the support system I have. All my family and all of Curtis’ family. But I am mostly grateful for my Father in heaven. I know he is giving me this trail because he knows I am strong enough to handle it! In the words of my Mother… I will kick this syndrome in the butt and show it who is boss!!!

I am sorry this was so long. Those that read the whole thing… I thank you for that. Writing this all down has actually helped me so much! Please feel free to randomly text me or write on my FB wall and tell me to stay on track! Any motivation from friends and loved ones will help me so much. I love you all.Thank you.

Also... If you know of anyone that fought PCOS that has/ had a success story.. I would LOVE to hear it!

Love,

Brandi Jae Neslen

"But to one person you may be the world."

My Family.

Okay let me give you a little back story with me and my family. When it came time to leave for college I couldn't WAIT to get the heck out of Colorado and be on my own. As every person that age does, right? All my friends said "don't ever move back in with your parents...its way to hard!" So I had it in my mind it would be horrible!! Horrible having rules again and not being your own person. Well it came time for me to choose to stay at Dixie College or move back home. I was doing fine money-wise...But for some reason that little voice in the back of my head told me to move back home. I battled with that voice for weeks on end! I did not understand why I kept getting the impression to move home right then. I know now..It was because I needed to grow stronger relationships with my family, and meet my sweet husband.

I didn't want to move back home! But I did and it was the best thing for me. I came home and grew a stronger relationship with my sweet sister Allex. We always fought growing up. But we became best buddies once I moved back. I also got to watch my other sister Baylee start to grow up into a young woman! I was able to be there for both of them and be that older sister that I always wanted. I was always more interested in boys and social activities in High School that I wasn't the best older sister I could possibly be. Moving back home all my friends were at college or back at Dixie. I really didn't have anything other than my job and my family. But I absolutely LOVED it! I got to be there for my baby brother and love on him. I got to grow a better relationship with my best friend...my mom! I love her so much. I was able to learn from her and get to know her better. We used to butt heads a lot when I was in high school. But my Mommy is my best friend and is always there for me no matter what. I know that my time home those few months before I met Curtis was meant to happen. I know my Heavenly Father knew I needed to move back home and be with my family before I met my husband. I got to work for my Daddy and see what a hard working man he is. I was able to witness what true love is through my parents relationship. I got to sit back every night and just be with my family. Laugh and joke with them all day long! It was the best. I was seriously in love with life. I worked with kids all day long and then came home and spend the rest of the night with my amazing family. We made silly videos on my computer... We went on walks all the time...we made up games! It was just perfect for me. I love my family so much.

I met Curtis in January and I started spending most of my free time with him. But even now as I am married and live in Utah again...I still cherish that quality time I had with my family. I am constantly telling Curtis that we have to move back to Colorado because I want to be closer to my family. After high school I would have never even dreamed of moving back to Colorado! But I know now being with my family is the most perfect place to be. Lucky for our relationship..his wonderful family lives 5 minutes away from mine! So its a win win situation :)

My family came to visit me this past week. I realized then how much I just adore my family. They totally surprised me..I had NO idea they were coming. I was just sitting with my Nana and my sisters run down stairs saying "The party is here! Where is the popcorn?" I figured it was my cousins but when I looked up I saw my beautiful grown up sisters running down to hug me with my handsome brother and beautiful mother following. All I could do was drop my mouth open and cry! I had no words. I was filled with emotion. Confusion, happiness, more confusion and absolute happiness! I held my mother for a good 5 minutes just crying in her arms. My dad wasn't able to come sadly. But I still had never felt more peace and happiness in one moment as I did then. They stayed a whole week and even though it was already a stressful week for me it was the best week of my life!

My darling sisters stayed with Curtis and I. We stayed up till 1 am every night laughing and playing games! I somehow managed to still work 35 hours that week... sheesh! Anyway I am done blabbing on now... I just want everyone to know how much I love my family. They are my world.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

loveydoveydove!

I love my Husband. I think he is rather cute! We took this picture a few days ago and I can't stop looking at it. Its one of those pictures that are worth a thousand words...at least to me! It shows me how happy I am and how in love we are. He is my bestest best friend in the whole world! I am glad to be his wife and be with him for eternity :) Love you sweet boy!!

New years eve!

Our first new years together. This is how it was spent.


We woke up and bought a new table!! We have been in this apartment since September and I just now found a table I actually liked! We were on a tighter budget but I didn't want some crap table. So I searched pretty hard. I finally found one that I LOVE!

We got this cute table and chairs for 80 bucks! The guy who owned it loved it, but..... he has a two year old..and as his KSL ad said "Children and glass tables scare me!" Ha. But there are seriously NO scratches on it. Just one tiny little one. And the chairs are in perfect condition. I was a happy camper :)

Our good friend Mark had spent the night the night before and we played a few games of Settlers of Catan and sequence! But funny story!! Our apartment is a little awkward because you have to go through our bedroom to get to the bathroom. Mark woke up at 4 am needing to pee and not wanting to go through our bedroom. So he takes his jacket and goes outside to pee. Mind you it was FREEZING that night. He LOCKED himself outside of the house. While we are just sleeping away! He was outside freezing his butt off! hahahahahaha. Our house was easy to break in to so he got the door open! (mind you we took care of that) When we woke in the morning I couldn't stop laughing!!

We just had a fun day with good ol' Marko. Played games and went to Cafe Rio. Nom Nom! Then we went and bought a 1000 piece puzzle! So we started on that while Mark went to visit family.

After a few hours of doing this we got bored....

Enough said! haha.
Right before midnight we went to go see some friends and Curtis and I left. We were driving home when the clock struck 12...so we had a cool view of all the fireworks. There was no one else on the road and we pulled over and watched a million fireworks. It was a fun day :)


We eventually finished the puzzle 2 days later.... that was a chore!

Happy new year!!

Ugly Sweater Contest

Curtis had an ugly sweater contest at his work... He didn't win :( But he totally should have! My awesome Nana helped him make this. He came into my work to show me and I about died. Everyone kept asking him if the lights turn on... He got annoyed rather fast lol

November 2011- Colorado Reception

We had the reception in Provo but I have SO many friends and family in Colorado...we decided to do one up there too! It was so much fun! We had a snow cone machine, Ice cream machine, Candy table and of course a cup cake table!

It was a lot of fun to see everyone. We are so blessed with all our great friends and family in this life. Our presents were so much fun! And we had such a blast seeing everyone...well I did! Curtis had a blast meeting everyone! Poor kid, he didn't really know anyone haha. But the food was amazing and it was just a party! Thanks to Mama and Kaylene for helping decorate and making it perfect!!

Our awesome Photographer had a great idea! She passed around this chalk board and have everyone write something for the bride and groom! It was so much fun to see all of the messages!

My sweet baby brother was SO sick that night. He was looking forward to the event all week and once it came he was feeling yucky! He wrote a message too. Once we got the pictures back we were back in Utah... and once I saw that one and just cried my eyes out!!

Isn't that the sweetest thing on this PLANET?! Oh my. I love you Andrew Porter Hadfield. More than you will ever know! This kid rocks my world. I still look at this picture and get teary eyed!! Oh I just love him.

anyway...

It was just a super fun night and I hope everyone who came enjoyed it as well! :)